Tuesday 29 May 2012

Lara Bingle's got a reality show... Just so you know


Guess who's making their eagerly awaited trip back to television? I'll give you a hint -  a girl that caught Australia's attention with a catchphrase. No... It’s not the 'Chk Chk Boom' girl (Although what ever happened to her? I hope something terrible). It's Lara Bingle - the hot chick that said "Where the bloody hell are you?" in ads that aired around the world. Yep. Her. Excited?

The reality programme now set to air on Channel 10 during primetime Tuesdays will seemingly be the answer to all those yearning questions we lose sleep over every night, like 'What does Lara Bingle do?', 'Does she actually do anything?' and 'No, really - why does this woman get so much attention?'

The show which is dubbed as being 'a portrayal of the real person behind the headlines' has already come under attack of being fabricated, as it appears the apartment that is supposed to be Lara's home is actually being rented out by the producers.

Does she get a job as a maid or something?


The first of many promotional trailers seems to focus on the nude picture controversy that has followed her around her whole career. In the promo she is showing her best friend/Manager, Hermione, photos that have been taken while she has been walking around her glass-walled holiday house naked. Hermione says things like, "Oh my gawd" and Lara responds with things like, "This sucks". It’s gonna be eye-opening guys.





According to Greg Hassel from SMH who got a preview screening of the first episode, 'The show invites us to laugh at Bingle as much as with her, but does so gently. So in terms of who is exploiting whom, it would seem the ledger is just about even'. He also speaks about the rest of the main cast, including Lara's brother Joshua (apparently Lara got the brains in the family - if the promos are correct and Lara does in fact get pulled over by a police officer and is genuinely unsure if she has a license, we must all pray for Joshua). 


Despite the critical backlash, the show is gaining a lot of momentum as it gets closer to its premiere date. Channel 10 apparently receives “dozens” of calls a day asking about it (you hear that - dozens of calls – let’s all call Channel 10 now and demand they bring Totally Full Frontal back.)


So if you don't like The Big Bang Theory or Once Upon A Time, you haven't got any studying, homework or housework that needs doing, and you haven't got any good movies laying around the house, Being Lara Bingle will premiere June 12th on Channel 10.



The Darkest Timeline: Community's Fandom and Failure



When Fight Club was released in theatres in 1999, it performed, well, bad. Like really bad. Extremely bad. Gene Simmons solo career bad. With a budget of $67 million, it only took in $37 million at the U.S box-office. Hell! The film even cost the entertainment chief at 20th Century Fox his job. One critic called it, 'A film without a single redeeming quality' that would have to 'find an audience in hell'. No shit. Fight Club, that masterpiece of film and literature starring Brad Pitt AND Edward Norton was a flop of ginormous proportions. This fact swirls around in my head all the time. What didn't people like about Fight Club?

NBC's Community is the latest piece of pop culture that is seriously leaving my head scratched up. A show about a ragtag study group of misfits dealing with the day-to-day craziness that is their community college, has become a driving force of imaginative storytelling, deep character analysation and pop culture references galore. But it's just not getting the attention it deserves...

When creator and ex-showrunner Dan Harmon analysed Season 2 for The A.V Club last year, he shared the story of him crying on his way home after receiving extremely negative feedback on the episode 'Advanced Dungeons and Dragons' from both NBC and Sony Pictures executives.
"I told my girlfriend when I got home, 'I think I'm gonna have to quit my own show because I can't operate under these circumstances. I can't be proud of something that the people who are paying me to do it are this ashamed of".

But the episode, as any Community fan will tell you, is arguably one of the best episodes the series has had to offer. Critics gave it flawless reviews, geeks praised the attention to detail, and more importantly, it gave us the best thing our eyes have ever gazed upon - Ken Jeong dressed as a Drow elf.




So what were the suits so worried about?

Well my friends, suits are worried about what all men who wear suits are worried about - numbers. The show suffers big time in the ratings, only averaging 3.5 million viewers per week. In the same 8pm Thursday timeslot the cheap and broad Big Bang Theory averages 11.9 million viewers, while the mindless, indulgent tripe that is American Idol averages about 9.1 million viewers. Yes, it really does seem audiences are more interested in safe jokes and “nice” singing than smart humour.

I don't blame a number of people that just haven't had enough time to sit down and delve into Community. It’s not a show you can instantly love after the pilot episode. Like all good things it takes time. You have to learn to accept that you're ensemble characters have Asperger’s (Abed), are criminally insane (Chang), or are extremely sexually active (Britta). You have to learn to accept that Greendale Community College is a place where paintball wars just break-out, blanket forts have taken over and therapeutic trampolines lay hidden in secret gardens. And when you get past all the wackiness, you understand that the show is really just about friendship.

But to some, the show is just a pill they can't swallow. It’s an isolating half hour that flies across the heads of anyone who doesn't have a wide knowledge of everything pop culture. It was a show made by nerds for nerds. And us nerds are pretty proud of it - so proud that when it got pushed to mid-season at the end of last year we rallied around Rockefeller Centre in goatee's singing O Christmas Troy in protest, we trended #sixseasonsandamovie week in week out on Twitter and most importantly, we tried really hard to spread the word and branch it out to others.



In the weird way television works, the study group became a part of our family. One we had to defend when people didn't appreciate how special it was, and as much as any fan base out there, we have had to endure a lot of bad news. The latest being the move to the death-slot position of Friday nights at 8pm, and more importantly the firing of the shows mad, genius creator and show-runner Dan Harmon.

Dropped from the shortened Fourth Season, Harmon had been the driving force behind Community from the very beginning, responsible for its most inventive and imaginative ideas. In a world where show runners usually just make sure everyone is doing their respectable jobs properly, Harmon had a more hands-on approach, wanting final say on every story, script and frame produced. His methods were tough (nightmarish tales have been told about 24-hour writing sessions, his constant alcohol abuse and his very public battle with cast member Chevy Chase), but by god did that man deliver. And the best thing of all, he fought the system for his art.

And herein lies the symbolism of everything Community. It is (and hopefully will remain) a show that never changed because of how weird people said it was. It is a show that accepted if it were going to be the outcast, than it was going to be the weirdest outcast of them all. Dan Harmon is Community and Community is us. And as uniting and cheesy as it sounds, we all challenge society together.

Sure, it might be too late for society to embrace the quirkiness of Jeff, Britta, Abed, Annie, Troy, Pierce, Shirley and Chang, but for the years to come the most important thing to take away from this show is that it was our show. It is a show we fought hard for and a show that represented who we were. It’s our Neutral Milk Hotel, our Freaks and Geeks, our Brand New, our Arrested Development and our Fight Club. It is something we find enchanting, enthralling and perfect despite everyone else telling us that it isn't.


#Sixseasonsandamovie











Thursday 8 March 2012

Permanent Jet-Lag (Entry 1)

Guess What? Chicken Butt. I'm In Austin, Texas... Yep I know what you're thinking when you think of Texas, 'Thats where Cowboys are from right?" Well thats racist to assume that cowboys make up a lot of Texas when in fact its a lot of colours and illegal mexican immigrants that make up Texas.

Oh and before i start, i was gonna call this blog Travel Diary: Season 2, but then i thought, 'thats stupid, you're not a tv show'. So i decided not to give this a name at all.

So please enjoy Season 2 of my travel... diary.

I'm gonna start this where all books and movies start, the beginning (Exceptions: Memento, Fight Club, Go, Inception, Pulp Fiction, All the Terminator Movies, The Quite American, The Social Network, Megamind, Run Lola Run, Breakfast Of Champions, Secretary, Forrest Gump, Evita, Boiler Room and 500 Days Of Summer, Cause the days were all out of order nerrrr Deschanel). So i get on a train to go to the airport and am standing the whole way because its early morning and boring people go to work at that time. I'm standing next to this really attractive girl who keeps looking at me, then when i look at her and she smiles, so it started good, in my mind i was like "Alllllriiiiggght I'm not gonna talk to you but i'll think about you later when i'm all alone". Anyway she gets off at Roma Street and i continue to the airport.

Get a Red Rooster meal while at the airport. Fun fact, Red Rooster meals are $13 at the airports... You'd think with how much money they'd make the Rooster wouldn't be so red (tell your dad that one for me). Anyway, Go to the bathroom, discover i have marks on my head from when i dyed my hair the night before... No wonder that cunt on the train was smiling. (Yeah i dye my hair, my natural colour looks like bark, go fuck yourself).



Get on plane, get seated next to the guy from Madina Lake (I know that because he was still wearing his laminate), he doesn't seem interesting so i don't talk to him, watch 'In Time' instead, wasn't bad. Fall asleep for a while, when i awake i notice that said uninteresting guy is gone and has been replaced with this dreadlocked girl and a guy i knew i didn't like because he had a douchey goatee. Watch Martha Marcy May Marlene... Said Dreadlocked Girl FOR FUCKING REAL... starts getting fingered right next to me. Not even joking/exaggerating/making this up. She literally started clenching the arm-rests. I coughed, laughed, looked around loudly to get them to stop but in the end i realised i was only prolonging this experience, so i pretend to sleep, she cums and i ask them to move so i can go to the bathroom. He patted me on the back when i walked past him, I regret not jerking off then punching him in the face.

Get into LA, have an 8 hour stopover, sleep in a quiet corner of LAX for a couple of hours. Hear an announcement for my flight, go to terminal and notice that Danny Trejo (He was in Spy Kids 3!) was on my flight wearing a cowboy hat... Yeah real subtle.  I would've talked to him but what could i have said, "Hey Danny, Machete was good! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA" Then he would've murdered me.

Get into Austin, Catch a bus and walk 2 miles, realise i'm at the wrong hotel (Yeah in America there isn't just one place called 'Days Inn' there's like one every block). Get to real hotel, get mcdonalds and sleep.

Woke up this morning and went downtown... then i got out of bed and went downtown (Hahahaha Ahhhh see what i did there, hehe you saw it!). Picked up my badge for SXSW and walked around scoping out the venues for the film festives that will be happening these next 5 days. Walk past a dude screaming at everyone coming out of the convention centre "You Think You Can Come Here And Burden Us With Your Presence, You Think You Can Come Here And Have A Good Time Huh? Well You're All GONNA PAY YOU HEAR ME?!?"... he seemed nice, i waved to him.



And thats all the noteworthy misadventures i've had so far... I know, i hope they'll get better too and some girl getting fingered isn't a highlight. Fill you in over the next couple of days about the films i'm seeing here... Shut up and play the hits, Cabin in the woods, Casa Di Me Padre, God Bless America, Bad Brains Band In DC, 21 Jump Street, The Comedy, Marley etc. etc. etc. AND MARC FUCKING MARON is doing a podcast!



Message a nigga.